News From Around the World

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Grandma the Clown from the Big Apple Circus rang the opening bell at the Stock Exchange last week, further highlighting the fact that the place is run by a bunch of greedy clowns.

GULF OF ADEN, INDIAN OCEAN - The Indian Navy had an overnight firefight and destroyed a pirate "mothership" in response to 8 ships in the area being hijacked this week alone. [who knew Indians were so.......so.......dangerous]

TOKYO, JAPAN - General Toshio Tamogami, chief of staff of Japan's Air Self-Defence Force, was dismissed after rationalizing Japan's World War II stance in an essay.


DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES - Al Qaeda furthered it's position as just another racist religious organization with guns, as it called Obama a house negro.


MASSACHUSETTS, UNITED STATES - While filling up his gas tank in Medford MA, Varghese Chacko's Obama regalia caused the elderly local [white] gas attendant to comment, "We elected the right president cuz the gas prices are going down." The man then gave Chacko a handful of candy and bade him safe travels.

Later that weekend, Chacko paid $1.94 a gallon for regular octane gas in Deerfield MA, which was the first time in longer than he could remember that gas dipped below the $2/gallon mark.

WEB 2.0, EARTH - For a good laugh courtesy of our San Francisco correspondent, Aaron, click HERE.