How can you have any meat, if you don't eat your pudding?

We all know about the $400K retreat for AIG execs right after they received their fuckin BAILOUT.

On their way to grovel for their own BAILOUT, the CEO’s of GM, Ford, and Chrysler flew to Washington in private luxury jets. The GM CEO Rick Wagoner flew in on a jet that reportedly cost $36 million. (One of eight luxury jets in financially strapped GM’s fleet.)

I get that you have to break some eggs to make an omelet but at least pretend to understand that times are tough when you're asking for corporate welfare and fly commercial you fucks. No wonder my rice rocket does so much better than your shitty lemons.

Here's my revised business plan for Detroit: MAKE CARS THAT LAST LONGER THAN 3 YEARS.

{nytimes}

News From Around the World

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Grandma the Clown from the Big Apple Circus rang the opening bell at the Stock Exchange last week, further highlighting the fact that the place is run by a bunch of greedy clowns.

GULF OF ADEN, INDIAN OCEAN - The Indian Navy had an overnight firefight and destroyed a pirate "mothership" in response to 8 ships in the area being hijacked this week alone. [who knew Indians were so.......so.......dangerous]

TOKYO, JAPAN - General Toshio Tamogami, chief of staff of Japan's Air Self-Defence Force, was dismissed after rationalizing Japan's World War II stance in an essay.


DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES - Al Qaeda furthered it's position as just another racist religious organization with guns, as it called Obama a house negro.


MASSACHUSETTS, UNITED STATES - While filling up his gas tank in Medford MA, Varghese Chacko's Obama regalia caused the elderly local [white] gas attendant to comment, "We elected the right president cuz the gas prices are going down." The man then gave Chacko a handful of candy and bade him safe travels.

Later that weekend, Chacko paid $1.94 a gallon for regular octane gas in Deerfield MA, which was the first time in longer than he could remember that gas dipped below the $2/gallon mark.

WEB 2.0, EARTH - For a good laugh courtesy of our San Francisco correspondent, Aaron, click HERE.

PAINT THE WHITE HOUSE BLACK

CONGRATS OBAMA!!!!!!!



iN RELATED NEWS:

MASSUCHUSETTS passed Question 2: Remove the threat of arrest or jail for possessing an ounce or less of marijuana, replacing it with a $100 fine, which could be paid through the mail without lawyers or court appearances, just like a speeding ticket.

MICHIGAN passed Proposal 1: Permit terminally and seriously ill patients to use medical marijuana with their doctors' approval.

CALIFORNIA: passed Proposition 8: ELMINIATE the newly-declared right of same-sex couples to marry [boo]

{danny}